Arnav came to an abrupt halt. "Damn it! I forgot my phone!" He had already jogged for 10 minutes but jogging was now only an excuse to get away. The situation at home was worsening day by day, everyone was changing, he didn't know who he knew and who he didn't know anymore. Should he trust anyone? When the one person who he had had the most faith in, his role model had let him down? He wanted to escape it all, just get away. He craved oblivion.
But there was this impulse, he never left anywhere without his phone and he didn't want to worry his mother. She was already going through so much. "Is it really that important?" Yes it was, something was pulling him back...
His pace was slower on the way back, a memory in each step, anger, pain betrayal, disappointment. This wasn't supposed to happen to him. Things did not end this way. He had been blessed with a happy family and it was supposed to continue that way. In a split second every thing was over. Everything. He closed his eyes and let the events of that night consume him. Things would never again be the same.
He needed to find strength in himself, take responsibility, but would he be capable? He wanted to back away, yes it was cowardly but he wasn't sure if he could face it anymore, if he could bare the pain written over his mothers face. That man had taken everything away, he had turned her into a soulless creature who had seeked revenge, had got revenge. And now she couldn't face the world. She knew what she had committed, they all knew, she knew it was only a matter of time before they found everything out. Arnav quickened his steps, he needed to talk to his mother whilst no one else was there, he needed to make her understand. He had took his decision and he was going to attempt to fix it, put the broken pieces back together.
----
She stood pacing around her room, her movements measured, slow, thoughtful. She had been going over and over it in her mind, one impulsive decision had possibly lead to even more disaster than she had ever imagined. Her kids would now no longer have a proper future, her daughters life was already ruined and her sons would be too. They would forever be known as a murderers children, be mocked and made fun of over and over again. And it was all her fault, first her failing marriage, then her betrayal and now what she had done.
She suddenly stopped pacing. She had made her decision. This was the way things would end, the way things had to end. She couldn't let this continue, she couldn't let her past overshadow her children's future, she would have to make this sacrifice for them.
----
Arnav stepped into the house his gaze fixed towards the stairs, it was eerily quiet but no one else was at home and it was always like that these days. The bubbly happy people that had once inhabited the house were not the same anymore. They now had difficulty facing each other, facing themselves, facing reality.
"Maaa, maaa!" He made his way up the stairs, taking slower steps than usual, preparing what he had to say in his mind. He knew he should have did this earlier but hadn't been able to. He hadn't had the strength to, but it was now or never. He had to attempt to make things better before it was too late, before she started blaming herself before he lost her too.
He couldn't hear anything, she must have heard him. "Maaa!" Louder now, quickening his steps, his heart beating faster on its own accord. He was running up the stairs now, along the corridor, at the back of his mind he knew something was wrong. Something had happened....
"MAAAAA!" The scream escaped out of his mouth, tears sprouted out of his eyes. "MAAA!" It was a cry out of desperation, out of fear, out of knowing what had happened, out of knowing what was going to happen.
He scrambled over towards her body, she was still alive. "Maa Maa! Maaa get up! get up! Maa I know you are still alive! Come back to me! Come back!" He screamed, shaking her, willing her to get up, to look at him. "Maa it's okay, it'll all be okay," he reassured her. "Why isn't she getting up damn it!" "Get up! Maa! Get up! GET UP! You can't leave me! You can't leave di! YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME!" He was screaming at her now, his face soaked with tears.
Her hand fell limp out of his. Her body gave a slight jerk and slackened. He immediately took her into his arms and hugged her lifeless body close to his, rocking it.
"MAAAAAA!" It was a cry of a boy who had lost everything dear, of a boy who was seeing his life breaking down in front of his eyes. It was the cry of a boy who would never be the same again.
I close both locks below the window
I close both blinds and turn away
Sometimes solutions aren't so simple
Sometimes goodbye's the only way
And the sun will set for you
The sun will set for you
And the shadow of the day
Will embrace the world in grey
And the sun will set for you
Pink cards and flowers on your window
Your friends all plead for you to stay
Sometimes beginnings aren't so simple
Sometimes goodbye's the only way
And the sun will set for you
The sun will set for you
And the shadow of the day
Will embrace the world in grey
And the sun will set for you...
----
"I was too late Khushi, I was too late! I could've saved her, I should have told her. I was too late." His voice was barely a whisper, hoarse with raw emotion, his eyes brimming with unshed tears. She was too shocked for words. Khushi wanted to comfort him, let him know that he shouldn't feel guilty but her thoughts were scattered all over the place. She was still attempting to comprehend the events of his memories. Still trying to understand why the world had been so harsh.
Suddenly his grip on her hand loosened and he stood up. She stared back at him taken back by his sudden movement. "I'm sorry, it's late and I've kept you out way too long already. Come on I'll drop you to your door." He was back to the shut out Arnav Singh Raizada now, all evidence of the one that had been there a mere few seconds ago gone. His walls were back up and this time it was her fault. She hadn't been able to utter a single comforting word in return. She gulped in guilt and stood up unable to form a coherent sentence. He pulled on her hand and led the way, she walked back in a daze, still processing his story, repeating it over and over again in her mind and didn't even realise when they had got to her door. He let go of her hand slowly and turned around to walk off as she looked at his retreating back as her eyes welled up with tears. She cried that night, for god knows how long, for him, for his family, for a person who had so much love to give and was given so little in return, for the man she was falling in love with and for the walls that he would never break down...
Lyrics Credit: Shadow of the Day by Linkin Park
Picture Credit Ladanseuse http://www.flickr.com/photos/ladanceuse/4887522765/in/set-72157624344220589
Sorry for taking ages to write up this update after promising to update two on thursday. I finished my exams on thursday, started typing it up but the sun was finally out in gloomy old Aberdeen and I couldn't help but go relax in the sun. And then I went a bit over board with the relaxing, spent way too long in the sun and just slacked off doing nothing. But I do promise to update the next part as soon as possibly and try and put two up by tomorrow :).
Once again thanks for reading and all the comments! They really do encourage me to write! x
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